The Adoption Home Study
When our children are standing in the toy section of a store and their little
eyes are widening with each step closer and closer to the multi-colored, action
packed, plastic piece of well advertised joy they look up at us and ask, “Can I
have this?”. I find myself smiling as I now have the opportunity for a
teaching moment on impulses, desires, patience, and instilling into these
children the ability to gauge and recognize their own personal motivation for
the things that they want. If I may dialog with you for a moment you will be
able to understand better how an adoption home study works.
Adorable loved child: Can I have this?
Me: Oh, Wow. That is really cool! I can see why you would want that.
Adorable loved child: Yea! So, can I have it?
Me: Can you afford it?
Adorable loved child (now looking at feet): Well, no.
Me: Is it worth working really hard to buy it and saving your money for a long
time? Is it worth not being able to buy any other toys for a while? Is this the
toy that you really want to have? Why do you think you want this toy? How will
you take care of this toy since you will have to work so hard to buy it? Do you
think you are ready for that kind of responsibility? Where you will keep it? And
so on……
Now, the adorable loved child has to answer some questions for himself. He has
to discover if the toy is worth the work he will have to put into attaining it.
He will have to discover his own motivations for wanting the toy. Not to long
ago I was in a toy store with a child that came across a toy that made him gasp
with joy. He picked it up and said he was going to buy this toy with great
enthusiasm. When I asked him why he wanted it he thought for a minute and said,
“Well, because it reminds me off this cute cat I saw on a movie once.” He
thought for a minute more and then said, “You know, I really do not like cats.
I think I will buy a smoothie machine instead.” He saved his money for a
smoothie machine, bought it several weeks later, and has used it to make all
sorts of frozen creations for us ever since. His ability to gauge his own
motivation for things helped him to make an informed and wise purchase.
Adopting a child is not equal to purchasing a smoothie machine. Obviously,
adopting a child is permanent and life changing decisions that must be made
with more forethought and insight that the story above. However, having the
ability to understand your motivation for adopting a child and your
expectations for life with that child are the same. It is the adoption
home study, which in a casual and welcoming way, will urge you to question your
motivation for the adoption and your readiness to take on a life as your own
child.
Most countries require a completed home study as a part of the dossier before
they will send a referral to you. Adoption agencies and private practice social
workers United States wide offer home study services in their own unique ways.
Although there is not a exact framework for how each home study has to be
executed there is commonly a similar format to the home study process and
procedures.
How to Start:
Many times the organization a prospective parent is working with to adopt a
child will be able to complete the home study. In cases, which is very common,
where prospective parents live outside of the state of their adopting agency
the home study must be done through a local agency in their home area. You will
need to set forth some time to find and compare home study programs in your
area. This can be done using the resources such as the internet to locate
agencies that do domestic or international home studies in your area. Important
questions to ask as you are comparing programs are these:
- Will I have to pay for gas money for the social worker to drive to my home?
This is common if you live just outside the agencies service area. - Do you include any post-placement visits in the price of the home study?
- Do you provide any form of adoptive parent training or education as a part of
the home study? - What is the average time frame it takes to complete a home study through your
agency? - What is the payment schedule?
- Is there a higher charge if I am adopting a child with special needs?
- Will I be refunded my money if you close your agency prior to my home study
being completed?
Asking these questions will be useful as you determine which agency you are most
comfortable working with. Also important is the way that an agency presents
itself to you on the phone. You will need to feel safe and supported sharing
information about your history and life with the agency so it does matter how
the persons you speak with treat you and answer your questions! This is a very
rewarding and important process and it should be treated as such from both
sides. A cheaper program does not always signify a better experience and should
not be the only factor in your decision to contract with a particular agency.
If you choose an agency different from that which you are adopting through often
there will be an interagency contract needed. This is something that will be
handled by the home study agency and the adoption agency. It is simply and
agreement between them that they will work together to facilitate the necessary
steps towards your adoption.
Your home study agency may ask you to send in an application and an application
fee which in most cases is included in the entire cost of the home study. Upon
receiving your application they will send the home study packet. No doubt,
prospective parents tackle the home study packet in unique ways depending on
their own work and organization styles. A suggestion would be to make a to-do
list based on time sensitive papers. Things that must be mailed away for
processing should be the first things accomplished as this will speed up the
process the sooner they are completed. An example of time sensitive documents
are the I-600A form and letters of reference.
Make appointments for physicals and with your veterinarian early on so that you
and your family will be able to get the required forms completed from these
offices in a timely manner. In general, take some time together as family and
work on your autobiography, discuss the papers you are all signing your names
to, and enjoy the process because it not only brings you one step closer to
your adopted child- it can bring you closer as a family. Any opportunity to get
to know the opinions and thoughts of your spouse, your children, and revisit
your own ideas is a good and healthy thing!
Each home study may vary from agency to agency with particular forms and formats
they require to complete the home study. In general, home studies will need very
similar type of documents. Below is a basic guide for what one may expect
during a home study.
Autobiography
The autobiography is a large packet of questions that help to guide
prospective parents through their own family history and current family
situation. The autobiography is a tool for gauging a families readiness to
adopt. Furthermore, it helps families to ask questions that are necessary for
the preparation process in bringing home a child that may be from a different
country and have a whole life experience different from that of your family. A
home study social worker is not looking for perfection in the autobiography. No
family is going to honestly have the answers to every possible situation that
may arise while rearing and loving their adoptive child. The home study social
workers is looking for families who have learned from their families of origin
and have established a peaceful, secure and loving environment through a
committed marriage and close knit family unit. The social worker does not need
to hear technical perspectives on parenting as much as the need to firmly
believe that your family will actively work to provide the best possible care
for an adopted child. Fear not the autobiography! A suggestion is to sit down
as a family and answer the questions together including discussion in a
environment that embraces the honest thoughts of each family member.
Police Clearance
Your home study will provide you with fingerprint cards so that you may go to
your local FBI or police station and be fingerprinted. As easy as this sound
there are complications in this process that may arrive. Often, police stations
do not do fingerprinting for international adoptions. The solution is to call
around to police stations in nearby towns and more than likely you will find a
station that will provide this service. To save some of time it may be wise to
contact the State Police Department and ask them to assist you in finding a
nearby police facility that will do the type of fingerprinting you need.
Physicians Report
Make an appointment for a physical early on for each member of the family. In
general, the home study agency is looking for basic health information to prove
that the condition of your health will allow you to care for a child. If health
concerns are present in the adults or children of the home this will not make an
adoption impossible. Prospective parents will need to demonstrate that they have
the resources to provide for the adoptive child in addition to the financial
burden of the health condition. A friendly suggestion is to contact your
home study agency and adoption agency and get all of the paperwork needed for
your physicians together this way it may be completed at the same appointment.
References
Each agencies requires a different amount of references from friends and
family. Choose people who have seen the beauty and commitment of your marriage,
your tenderness and desire for children, and people who are witness to your
integrity, responsibility, and character. It is important to make certain that
these individuals understand the importance of getting the references turned in
with a timely manner. To be helpful to your friends and family include a stamped
envelop with the address of where the reference is to be sent. Often, you will
need to use these same references for several different stages of the adoption
such as in the dossier or if you have to apply for a foster care license prior
to the adoption. Ask your references to save a copy of the letter that they
write in case you need to use it again.
Home Study Agreements and an Affirmation Statement
These are all the forms that lay out the financial responsibility that you and
your spouse will have as a part of contracting with the agency. Furthermore,
they lay our your responsibility to your adoptive child and they seek to make
certain that prospective parents understand the commitment that they are
entering. Similar to the covenant of marriage the commitment that parents make
to their adoptive child is unbreakable and sacred. The Home Study agency puts
trusts in the adoptive parents to fulfill their promise to be honest and
forthcoming with information that will be important to the adoption process and
later the care of the child.
Personal Financial Statement
These forms are often informal in nature and may be done in a variety of
formats.
Parents will need to gather financial information such as annual income,
monthly expenses, and assets and liabilities. You will not be discriminated
against for not being rich. Most adoptive parents are not rich and struggle
with the concept of affording an adoptive. Honestly discussing finances with
the home study agency will lead to opportunities to discover better money
management and possible grants available for families that need financial
assistance adopting. It is likely that the agency will ask for copies of bank
records and particular bills. It is wise to make certain that your filing
cabinet is in order to ease the process of locating documents you may need at
this point.
Verification of Employment
You will need to get proof that you are employed where you claim employment.
This is often a letter on company letterhead explaining your position, salary,
benefits, and tenure. The home study agency is looking to confirm that you have a
secure employment. Often, this exact document is needed for the dossier packet.
It would be wise to request two letters and have them notarized.
CANTS
The CANTS is a clearance form which is provided through the Department of
Child and Family Services. This form is simple to fill out and will basically
act as a background check for you and members in your household. The CANTS
clearance certifies that you and members of your household have not been
indicated in physical abuse, neglect and sexual abuse of a child.
Copies of birth certificates, marriage certificates, divorce decree, and tax
forms.
There will be several times that you will need to have copies of the above
documents. In order to be organized and complete your paperwork in a timely
manner it may be wise to make duplicate copies of each. Often, they will need
to be notarized to show authenticity. Taking these forms to be notarized and
then filing them will allow you to have them available as needed. Some examples
of times you will need these forms are during the home study, while sending away
your I600-A form, and included in the dossier.
Guardianship Statement
You will need to discuss with your spouse and family who you would choose as a
guardian for your child in the even of death. The Guardianship statement is a
form that lists information about the person or couple that you choose as
Guardian for you child. This may be changed after the adoption is completed or
as events in your family change. It is important to consider placing your child
in a home that will honor and respect the value of the child, cherish their
cultural background, and uphold the religious truths that you have instilled in
your child. Make sure that you have discussed at length this decision with the
prospective guardians before filling out this form.
Veterinarian Check Letter
Pets in a home do not make an adoptive more difficult as long as the pets are
child friendly and well cared for. A home study agency will need validation that
all the pets in your home have received their immunizations, vaccinations, and
are in good health because of your care. As you will be very busy during the
home study process it would be wise to make this appointment early on with your
Veterinarian if you do not already have copies of your records.
Firearms Registration
Different states have varies laws on ownership of firearms. You must be in
compliance with these laws and be able to provide verification of registration
and licensing. It is always of utmost importance to consider the dangers of
having firearms in the home. Parents that choose to have firearm in the home
are responsible for making certain that the weapons are out of reach of
children and that ammunition is stored locked away from the firearms. Always
keep firearms locked securely and teach your children about the weapons as they
are developmentally able to understand the risk and responsibilities that come
with firearm ownership. Children should never have unsupervised access to
firearms.
Certificate of Online Education
Many home study agencies will require a that prospective parents take some
adoption related course. These are offered through seminars, conferences,
meetings at the agency, and online. The courses are informative and
educational. From them comes discussion on adoption related issues that
families need to have a basic understanding of before completing an adoption.
There are issues related to the adoption of children of all ages that can be
processed prior to the adoption through this education. Often, the courses
themselves are free of charge but you must pay for the certificate that you
have indeed participated in the course. Please refer to the Precious
Interactive Learning Link for more information on trusted adoption education
resources.
Home Study Interviews
During a home study you and your family (spouse and children) will participate
in several interviews with the home study social worker. The goal is to present
your family as the wonderful people that they are and not strive to make your
spouse look perfect and your children like little angles. The social workers
has been trained to see what is and not what is being presented. When the
social worker comes to your house it is important to have it clean, but you do
not need to have Martha Stewart come in and make your house appear like
something out of magazine. The social worker is more concerned with seeing that
your home is a safe place for children and that the home environment your family
has created is nurturing. The questions that social workers ask will vary. Each
question is more like a friendly discussion rather than an interrogation
process. Coming prepared to the interviews with knowledge of your family
history and your thoughts about parenting, marriage, family life, and adoption
will be all that you need to participate in the interview. In most cases,
families are interviewed together and separately. The social worker will ask
you why you want to adopt a child and why you want to adopt a child from a
specific country if you are doing an international adoption. This can be a
difficult question to put into words, but with thought and insight into the
desires to expand your family through adoption it can be answered.
Home study and The Toy Isle
When you adopt a child you are not paying for the child with the money that it
costs to adopt. You are paying for services that make the adoption possible.
The home study is one of those necessary services that will lead you one step
closer to bringing your child home. Adoption can not be done the same way a
child stands in a toy isle and impulsively grabs at toys. It must be done with
the forethought, prayer, and wisdom; similar to that of a parent that is
teaching their child how to make wiser choices with their resources. Being an
adoptive parent makes one a steward of that which has been placed into their
possession and entrusted to their care. The home study process and the guidance
of the social worker at this point in the process acts as a parent questioning
the motives and preparation of a child desiring to buy a toy with all their
heart. The fundamental difference is that the toy is the life a human being
that was born with worth and value given from the Lord. The difference is that
this toy can not be discarded, it can not be placed on a shelf as trophy, and
it must be protected and loved always.
Remember the smoothie machine? It broke recently . Remember the dearly loved
child? He is still dearly loved and saving his money for another smooth
machine. Remember to honestly participate in the home study process and when you
discover yourself in the toy isle teaching your child about impulses, patients,
motivation, and planning think to yourself about how every step you went through
to bring him home was more than worth it for the teaching moment you are about
to participate in.
