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I have just returned from Ethiopia with my little son in tow. We have been home for two days and are settling in. Rather than write today I want to share with you some insight into the mind of my husband. Out of all of the years of our marriage there has never been something so emotional for my husband that he sat down to write about it. He is a quite man. It was so touching that in the darkness and stillness of our first night as parents he was so moved that he needed to get this thoughts down. Below is the journal entry that my husband, a brand new daddy to a bouncing 16 month old boy, wrote the night we returned home from Ethiopia.

It is 8:50 p.m. and all is quiet in my house. I have a dog sleeping by my feet and my wife and son are fast asleep upstairs. Some amazing things have happened tonight. The first was that I held my son for the first time; he just stared at me for the longest time and then made the decision that it was okay that I was holding him. The second amazing thing was that I gave my son his first bath at home, we played with a few toys and he kept yelling out for dadadadad ( dadadadad = Katie). Then I got the opportunity to put my son to bed. It was the most amazing thing, he laid there and just stared up at me while I made up a song to help sooth him. It wasn’t but 5 minutes later and he was fast asleep snoring away. I then had the opportunity to sit next to him and watch him sleep. I still can’t believe it, I am a father! During this time with my son, my wife found her way into some fuzzy pajamas and was fast asleep. I have never seen her so tired in all of my days with her. It was kind of like the passing of the baton. She told me to go soothe him to sleep and with that her shift was over. I am going to do everything I can to let her sleep the night through. Right this moment I have the baby monitor strapped to my belt like a cell phone listening oh so carefully in case he wakes up. Every little noise stops me in my tracks so I can listen carefully. (Yes I am a Daddy of 3 hours and I want to make sure I do it right!).

To see the scars on his belly and side in person was eye opening. I had seen the pictures, I knew they were there, but to actually see them brought such sadness and sorrow into my heart. To realize that as a baby a witch doctor burned him with hot coals to scare away sickness seemed like something out of movie. But in that moment as Katie showed me those scars Samuel broke out with a big smile and laughed. Samuel told me through that smile that it was okay and I knew in that moment that it was now my job to keep him safe in this world; to help him grow into the man that God has called him to be.

I want to say thank you to everyone that made it out to the airport tonight. You all took Katie, Samuel, and I by surprise with your outpouring of support and love. I look forward to bringing him to church next Sunday to show him off a little bit. God has truly blessed my wife and me with this little life. If anyone out there is thinking about adoption and still feel scared about all the unknowns let me tell you one thing. I would gladly give two years of my life again to the unknowns and concerns of adoption for the joy that I have received over the last 3 hours of my life. I can’t wait to see what tomorrow brings.

This entry was posted on Wednesday, November 14th, 2007 at 6:26 pm and is filed under Blog. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.