• Blog

For children and for parents there is absolutely nothing about the adoption industry that is an “industry”. For children and for parents adoption is not business. Adoptive parents do not buy their children, they pay for services that will allow them to legally adopt a child. Even though adoptions can be expensive most adoptive parents have money as one of the last things they think about as they prepare for the homecoming of their child. Instead, adoptive parents paint bedrooms, collect books and toys, pray for protection over their child, daydream of time together, read parenting books, help prepare their extended family for the new arrival, and much more. The money part, although huge, is just a part of the process that parents accept and figure out (often with the loving support of thier church body, friends and family). Adoptive parents understand that social workers and others working at the agency must be paid a salary for their efforts. They understand that money goes to care for the children in orphanages and foster care homes. This is all good and acceptable and worth every last penny.

It breaks my heart that adoptive parents give with great sacrifice and cheerful hearts only to be exploited by a small number of unethical agencies. Within the adoption community there are hundreds of ethical and honorable agencies and professionals that diligently work to assure that the “industry” remains about connecting children in need to loving families.

Recently, in Michigan, an adoption agency has been exploiting families and taking money from them giving back only empty promises. These families, just like all of us, have been hopefully preparing their home and lives for the arrival of their children. After thousands of dollars and many months they have not received a child and discovered that the agency they trusted had no intention of delivering to them a promised child.

This breaks my heart to hear of for several reasons:

1. This type of unethical practice hurts the adoption community and makes adoption, which is about love and permanency and family, appear to be a dishonest industry.

2. These events, although rare, can scare away families that are considering adoption as they highlight the uncertainty and expense of adoption and make the community seem untrustworthy.

3. These events do nothing but cause harm to the children that the adoption community is working to protect.

4. The families directly involved have sacrificed not only financially, but also emotionally and they have been under fire and great stress. My heart goes out to them and I hope that they may find themselves surrounded by people who can share with them that the adoption experience is not at all what they have endured under the hands of the unethical agency they worked with. I also hope that their stories are heard and that loving people are called to help provide for these families who have lost thousands of dollars and still do not have a child in their arms.

It can be very difficult to be assured that an agency is actually ethical and provides honest services. Families that have contacted the BBB have claimed to continue to have very difficult situations with adoption agencies where severe exploitation is involved.
Before working with an agency there are several things that parents can do to make certain to their very best ability that the agency is good.

1. Confirm that the agency is working toward or has received accreditation under the Hague Convention guidelines.
2. Check with the Better Business Bureau
3. Contact other adoptive families that have worked with that agency and learn about their experience. Remember that there is always some one who can complain about something, so use wisdom and talk to more than one family.
4. Ask the agency to show you their adoption record. (The number of adoptions that were completed last year, etc.)
5. Do not work with an agency that requires a lot of money upfront. Fees should be paid, as services are delivered- not before!

As an organization one of our beliefs and founding principles is that we work only with ethical agencies. When we hear and confirm that an agency is participating in unethical practices they are removed as a partner organization. This is a rarity that we have to remove an agency being that the majority are terrific, honest, and hardworking professionals that have the parents and children in mind more than profit.
Thank you to all of those adoption agencies that have for years provided excellent adoption services! You are appreciated and we wish you great success as you work to find families for children in need.
Perhaps this would be a good time for families who have had positive adoption experiences to step forward and give words of truth and encouragement to families considering adoption, but afraid due to the negative image that one or two unethical agencies portrays on the adoption community. As you do this, please keep the families that have been financially and emotionally hurt in your prayers. They may still have a child out in the world somewhere than needs them desperately and it is my hope that their negative experience will not stop them in continuing that journey.

 Video of Unethical Adoption Practices : Download

This entry was posted on Monday, May 7th, 2007 at 10:50 am and is filed under Blog. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.