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Jason: Tell me a little bit about yourself.

Phil: Kristin and I will celebrate our 20th anniversary this summer. We have two birth daughters, Kathryn and Clara, and two sons adopted from Vietnam, Ben and Josiah. I am a mechanical engineer serving the medical device industry. Our family attends Knox Presbyterian Church in Ann Arbor, Michigan.

Jason: Phil, I’ve read your book, and it’s amazing. Tell our readers what it’s about.

Phil: In The Little Girl, a Chinese man adopts an abandoned baby girl and experiences the joys and trials of fatherhood. The story culminates with a glowing young woman ready for a family of her own.

Jason: What can you share with us about the illustrator, Fenlin Lee?

Phil: It was a rare privilege to work with an artist as talented as Fenlin. Her realistic watercolors really make the story come alive. By the end of the journey, she had become a sister to me.

Jason: What’s your favorite illustration?

Phil: In the opening scene, a dazzling being holds the little girl while singing to her. Fenlin did a tremendous job by starting the book with a lot of zing!

Jason: How are you similar to Li Feng, the father figure in The Little Girl?

Phil: Like Li Feng, I’ve had internal struggles to do the right thing and to overcome the frustrations and perplexities of life. It’s all very humbling and I hope to end as well as he did.

Jason: What was your inspiration for writing your book?

Phil: Kristin and I had just landed in Ho Chi Minh City, Vietnam. We arrived at the hotel and were whisked off to an orphanage. It was a thrill to finally meet Benjamin, our new son, and offer him a lollypop. Our facilitator took care of paperwork while we were left to get to know Ben and the other kids. We just wanted to give them as much joy as we could in the short time we were there. We played with the kids and had a great time. But then, all of a sudden, it was time to go. Walking out of that orphanage, holding Ben and leaving behind the rest of the kids, was one of the hardest things I have ever done in my life.

In a little while, we would return to Vietnam to adopt Josiah. But it slowly dawned on me that I couldn’t adopt all the orphans in the world. And, although I didn’t know it at the time, these little ones that I couldn’t adopt would lead me to embark on a book writing adventure.

I wanted to help as many children as I possibly could. After doing some research, I found that China’s one child policy combined with a cultural preference for sons has lead to a gender imbalance. In 2004 there were an estimated 41 million more men than women in China. Where did all those women go? Sadly, many were killed at birth. Many more baby girls were abandoned, left at orphanages, markets, or train stations. Some survived childhood but committed suicide as young women.

All this motivated me to write The Little Girl.

Jason: What impact do you hope it will have?

Phil: I hope every child that reads my book will know that they are deeply loved. I also hope that it will inspire families to consider adoption.

My great dream is to publish a Chinese language version of The Little Girl and distribute the book in China to turn the hearts of fathers and mothers towards their daughters. Perhaps The Little Girl will be a piece of the puzzle that will heal China of her gender imbalance.

Jason: Your book addresses the Asian culture specifically, yet it seems that fathers around the globe struggle to find time for their children . . . Any advice for dads here in the U.S.?

Phil: One ancient poet wrote, “Teach us to number our days aright, that we may gain a heart of wisdom.” The span of a human life is really short when you think about it. Enjoying your children is a gift too precious to give up. Once we believe that, the hard decisions and the details will work themselves out.

Jason: You’re an adoptive father yourself Phil. What advice do you have for people seeking to adopt? With all the doom and gloom news about the economy, some people may be dealing with the question, “can I really DO this?”

Phil: Adoption isn’t for everyone. It’s really a matter of calling. The question I would ask is, “Do we have the faith to welcome a child into our family?” If the answer is “Yes!”, then I wouldn’t let the economy weigh very much in the decision. I’m reading “The Long Winter” by Laura Ingalls Wilder. Her pioneer era family nearly starved and froze to death during a blizzard in Montana. Laura and her father twisted hay into sticks to burn in the stove after the coal ran out. The coffee grinder was in continual operation to make flour out of wheat. They had a quiet dignity and perseverance that got them through it. Their family was quite an inspiration!

On the practical side, be aware for filing year 2008, the the US government provides a $11,650 tax credit to adoptive families. Also, there are a lot of people who want to help. Check out Tomorrow is a Gift at http://www.angelfire.com/journal/adoptionhelp/adopthelp.html

Jason: How can people get a copy of your book?

Phil: Amazon (www.thelittlegirl.info) carries The Little Girl. If you buy it from New Earth Enterprises (an Amazon seller), I’d be glad to sign the book for you or your loved ones.

This past January, eleven children visited Moscow to meet nine Americans; time spent talking, playing games, walking, and sightseeing created several new families. While I beat the bushes, sometimes wearily, seeking June host families, reflecting on trips past and the kids we’ve helped offers motivational fuel for continued labors.

*****

Moscow, Day 4

January 17, 2010

Sunday morning we visit a church I attended twice during my own adoption journey in 2006; back then, they met in an old theater school. Members said the church had changed locations seven times in the previous two years; thus, I was surprised during our November trip to find that, over three years later, the church was still meeting in the same place. Alas, the morning our group attended, an announcement was made the congregation was moving come the new year. This January morning, we take the trolleybus to the new building, staging a photo shoot much of the way. Later, the best pictures I took all trip are evidence that the grime-laden windows filter the morning light exquisitely, turning our trolleybus into a dream photo studio.

This church facility is more comfortable than the old. Picture windows on the side grant a remarkable, if sinfully distracting, view of the Kremlin bell tower and St. Basil’s Cathedral in the distance. Asked to introduce ourselves when the service begins, I look at our translator Faith, who points back to me. With her extroversion, I consider her more qualified, but when my friend needles me, too, I give my name, say I’m from Grand Rapids, and add that our group is sightseeing with Russian orphans this weekend.

The building houses a café, thankfully closed, since we’ve promised the kids McDonald’s. Faith holds McDonald’s in low esteem, even more so in Russia, because it’s unhealthy and so safely American. Promising the kids was probably sufficient, but the café’s closure cements our case. On our walk out, Angelina runs with Jamie, grinning, in the first unbridled emotion I see from her. Needing a good photo for her next trip, I have them reenact the run twice, though it only works once before she discerns my treachery.

At McDonald’s, I order for the unhosted kids, while the families order for the others. In one of the most flagrant injustices of the trip, the hosted kids get large fries, fancy sandwiches, and ice cream, while the hostless eat cheeseburgers and small fries. They’re polite if they notice, and while I ache to rectify the inequity, the lines are interminable, and the kids depart soon for their orphanages. Each child adores McDonald’s, and leaves skipping.

Back at the hotel, Faith assigns her charges an essay on their time in Moscow. When all are done, we gather in the common room, where she reads us the offerings. Alexander does best, conscientiously detailing each day’s activities. All the essays before his were given by their authors to their new families; after Faith reads Alexander’s, she realizes he has no one. She asks him who should have it, then suggests me. “Be-cky,” he whispers compliantly, as my heart breaks. By now, the kids must know I work for the trip, and am not a family seeking a child. Evgeniy, a good student with a better attitude, surprises me with his lackluster effort, eliminating an ending where others profess appreciation and love of their host families. Sensing he’s still alone, he protects himself to avoid embarrassment. Knowing the work he usually does, and would like to do here, my heart breaks anew.

On the return from McDonald’s, sixteen-year-old Maxim accompanies Faith. Many orphans his age already smoke and drink, he says. He asks them why, since they’ll only repeat the mistakes of their parents, which sentenced their children to orphanage existence originally. They’re foolish, he opines. As Faith recounts this exchange to the group, she beams in support of his choices and maturity.

After the essays, families ask kids about orphanage life, school, and who helps with homework. I ask if classmates tease them about being orphans; all say yes, save Nadia, whose demure self-assurance garners friends who affirm her. When the kids ply us with questions, they center on whether or not we like them and want to see them again. Faith suggests we hug every child; we’re not done before the kids with families are crying, which most adults mirror. At these goodbyes, I feel guilty standing dry-eyed. The end of a Lighthouse trip ends a gargantuan workload, and I waver between an unseemly relief and empathy for parents and children who must part. Making my hugging rounds, I spot Faith sobbing in the doorway. Having never seen her cry, it shakes me. I overhear her telling a family how moved she is that Maxim, Daria, and Elizavetta, the forgotten, but hopeful, sibling group, have a family after nine years, and how after all this time in that environment, Maxim seems unaffected by the negative influences surrounding him. This emotion, from one who has witnessed everything, touches me more deeply than anything else this trip, and ends my deliberation on whether or not to cry.

When Dima arrives in his minivan to take Faith, the kids, and their chaperone to the train station, fourteen people, most with puffy faces and traveling heavier than when they arrived, cram in. It takes some jockeying, but eventually everything fits and the van creeps away. Families braving the 4° F temperature blow kisses and wave until the vehicle rounds the corner, leaving sight. Walking back into the hotel, I rejoice knowing that the next time eight of these children see families from our little band, they’ll be going home, forever.

But Angelina, Evgeniy, and Alexander are incomplete without parents to love and guide them. They need more work, and another chance, which with hopeful heart and the Lord’s help, I’ll give them. Somewhere, families unknowingly await these three. How anxious I am to finish this work.

How relieved I will be when I am truly done.

***

Most families seeking to adopt want children as young as possible; even kids age two are considered “older” by adoption standards, and, therefore, harder to place. Children age out of Russian orphanages between the ages of 16 and 18; boys typically turn to lives of crime, and girls to lives of prostitution, not because they want to, but because they lack viable alternatives. The average life expectancy of an aged-out Russian orphan is measured in months; 10% commit suicide and only 10% become productive members of society.

For more information about our June 12-18 or August 8-14 trips to Moscow, please contact Becky De Nooy at (616) 245-3216 or visit www.RussianOrphanLighthouseProject.blogspot.com or www.lhproject.com.

The first wave of Haitian orphans, 53 whose orphanage was destroyed in the earthquake, arrived Tuesday in Pittsburgh.

But the new policy, announced late Monday, affects only 900 children whom the Haitian government had already identified as orphans, and whom adoption agencies had matched with couples in the United States.

Tens of thousands of children are believed to have been orphaned in the quake, and their fate remains unclear, aid groups and United Nations officials say.

Catholic leaders in Miami are pushing both governments to have children who appear to be orphaned airlifted to temporary group homes in South Florida. Several aid groups who focus on children, however, say every effort should be made to reunite them with relatives.

It normally takes three years to adopt a child from Haiti, because of a lengthy process required under Haitian law. The Haitian government has had reason to be cautious; there are about 200 orphanages in Haiti, but United Nations officials say not all are legitimate. Some are fronts for traffickers who buy children from their parents and sell them to couples in other countries. “In orphanages in Haiti there are an awful lot of children who are not orphans,” said Christopher de Bono, a Unicef spokesman.

Under the new policy, announced Monday night by the Homeland Security Secretary Janet Napolitano, the United States is waiving visa requirements on humanitarian grounds for Haitian children already in the pipeline for adoption. Some adoptions had already been approved by Haitian authorities, but the United States also agreed to let in other children who had been matched with American parents but had not gotten a final blessing from Haitian officials.

“The U.S. government has never done this in the past,” said Mary F. Robinson, president of the National Council for Adoption. “They are really going all out to expedite the process.”

Homeland Security Department officials said they were walking a fine line, trying to let in bona fide orphans without opening the floodgates to all children who have been separated from their parents.

“We remain focused on family unification and must be vigilant not to separate children from relatives in Haiti who are still alive but displaced, or to unknowingly assist criminals who traffic in children in such desperate times,” said Matthew Chandler, a spokesman for the department.

Gov. Edward G. Rendell of Pennsylvania played an instrumental role in bringing the first planeload of children out of Haiti, and the bureaucratic difficulties his team faced underscore the legal and moral complexities of transferring hundreds of children to a new country in the middle of a catastrophe that has crippled the Haitian government.

“There were many times we thought we were coming back with no one,” Mr. Rendell said Tuesday in Pittsburgh.

After an all-night journey on two planes, the children — some wrapped in blankets, some carried by nurses and doctors, some walking and waving — came off a donated jet at Pittsburgh International Airport just after 9 a.m. and were taken by bus to the Children’s Hospital of Pittsburgh of U.P.M.C. with a police escort.

Some of their adoptive parents waited anxiously while doctors examined the children, most of whom are under the age of 4.

“We just kept expecting the worst-case scenario, that they wouldn’t survive, that they’d be looted, that they’d run out of water,” said Jill Lear of Watertown, S.D., who arrived with her husband, Bruce, to wait for two children they were to adopt.

Mr. Rendell and Representative Jason Altmire flew Monday to Haiti on a chartered plane carrying medical supplies and 20 doctors and nurses. The plan was to drop off the supplies and pick up children from an orphanage run by two sisters, Jamie and Alison McMutrie from a Pittsburgh suburb, Ben Avon, Pa..

The orphanage was so badly damaged that the McMutrie sisters and the children were living in a courtyard. With a borrowed cellphone, they sent out appeals for help, saying they had only enough provisions for a few days.

Having lobbied the White House for several days, the Pennsylvania delegation had obtained United States visas for the children and had expected to be on the ground one hour.

But Haitian officials would let only 28 of the 54 orphans the sisters had brought to the airport to leave; the rest had not cleared all the hurdles for adoption. Seven had yet to be matched with adoptive parents, the Haitians said.

Then the sisters dug in their heels. “They just said no, they wouldn’t leave without all of them,” Mr. Altmire said.

For five hours, the delegation worked furiously to get the Haitian government to agree to let all the children go. The governor’s wife, Judge Marjorie O. Rendell of the United States Court of Appeals for the Third Circuit, went to Port-au-Prince to meet with American diplomats. Mr. Rendell and Mr. Altmire lobbied the White House, which pressured Haitian officials.

The chartered plane was forced to return to Miami before a deal was reached, Mr. Rendell said, but the delegation stayed in Haiti. But at 11 p.m., the Haitian officials relented and the children were evacuated on a United States military cargo plane to Orlando, Fla., where they transferred to the jet to Pennsylvania. One child was found to be missing at the last minute in Haiti, and Jamie McMutrie stayed behind to find her. They were expected to arrive here Wednesday.

James C. McKinley Jr. reported from Miami, and Sean D. Hamill from Pittsburgh.

The Hague Convention on the Protection of Children and Co-operation in Respect of Inter-Country Adoption (Hague Adoption Convention) is an international agreement to safeguard intercountry adoptions. Concluded on May 29, 1993 in The Hague, the Netherlands, the Convention establishes international standards of practices for intercountry adoptions. The United States signed the Convention in 1994, and the Convention entered into force for the United States in April 2008.

The Hague Adoption Convention applies to all adoptions between the United States and the other counties that have joined it (Convention countries). Adopting a child from a Convention country is similar in many ways to adopting a child from a country not party to the Convention. However, there are some key differences. In particular, those seeking to adopt receive greater protections if they adopt from a Convention country. (See our chart comparing the Convention process and the non-Convention process.)

Convention Facts
It requires that countries who are party to the Convention establish a Central Authority to be the authoritative source of information and point of contact in that country. The Department of State is the U.S. Central Authority for the Convention.

It aims to prevent the abduction, sale of, or traffic in children, and
it works to ensure that intercountry adoptions are in the best interests of children.

It recognizes intercountry adoption as a means of offering the advantage of a permanent home to a child when a suitable family has not been found in the child’s country of origin. It enables intercountry adoption to take place when:
The child has been deemed eligible for adoption by the child’s country of birth; and
Proper effort has been given to the child’s adoption in its country of origin.

It provides a formal international and intergovernmental recognition of intercountry adoption, working to ensure that adoptions under the Convention will generally be recognized and given effect in other party countries.

Keys to the Convention Process

Accredited Adoption Agencies: Only adoption service providers that have been accredited on a Federal level may offer certain key adoption services for Convention adoptions. When adopting a child from a Convention country, prospective adoptive parents know that their agency has been evaluated by one of the Department of State’s designated Accrediting Entities. These Accredited Entities evaluate agencies using uniform standards that work to ensure professional and ethical practices.
Transparency: When adopting from a Convention country, accredited adoption agencies must itemize and disclose in writing the fees and estimated expenses associated with the adoption ahead of time. The adoption service provider is only permitted to charge for unforeseen expenses under very specific circumstances. There is also an official mechanism for lodging a complaint against an accredited agency to the Department of State.

Adoption Certificates: Every child adopted from a Convention country receives a Hague Adoption Certificate or a Hague Custody Declaration. The certificate is issued by a U.S. consular officer after determining that the adoption (or grant of custody) has met the requirements of the Convention and the Intercountry Adoption Act. In Convention adoptions a U.S. consular officer also determines whether the child appears to meet the criteria for visa eligibility before the adoption is finalized (or custody is granted) in the country of origin. This will allow the parents to know ahead of time whether the child appears to be eligible to enter the United States.

Updated Forms & Visa Categories: Forms I-800A and I-800 replace Forms I-600A and I-600 for Convention adoption cases. Through Form I-800A, which must be filed prior to Form I-800, prospective adoptive parent(s) gain eligibility to adopt. Prospective adoptive parent(s) will identify the country from which they will adopt on this form. Form I-800 later determines the eligibility of a particular child to be adopted into a U.S. family. Children adopted from a Convention country must meet the definition of a “Convention adoptee.” New visa categories, IH-3 and IH-4, will be used in Convention adoption cases.

The process for adopting a child from a country party to the Hague Adoption Convention differs in some key ways from adopting from a non-Convention country. To date, about 75 countries have joined the Hague Adoption Convention. If you are adopting a child from one of these countries, you will need to understand the Hague process.

Find out more from the U.S. Department of State, Office of Children’s Issues

“We are requesting your prayers and advocacy assistance regarding four of our current China Program waiting children who are waiting for their forever families. Jonathan and Andrew have been registered with America World for roughly one year, but sadly little to no interest has been expressed in them throughout their time with America World. Ben and Abigail recently turned 13 years old and have a limited amount of time to find their family as children can’t be adopted after they turn 14 years old.

Therefore, America World will be returning Jonathan, Andrew, Ben and Abigail’s referrals to the CCAA on October 31st, 2008. It is the hope that the CCAA will place these children on the shared list or with another agency to try and find them families. Before the referrals are returned, we wanted to inform families so that there is the opportunity to come forward and inquire about their adoptions. There profiles will be posted in the next couple days on Precious.org.

Please read below for brief biographies of these precious children. To view photos and more biographical information, please contact America World and ask to speak to a China Family Coordinator or view them on Precious.org.

•Jonathan is a friendly and outgoing 9 ½ year old boy who has club feet and hands that are deformed. Despite these special needs he is able to use his hands to write and feed himself and is able to walk. He gets along well with other children and enjoys studying and singing. Jonathan is well liked by his teachers and caregivers.
•
Andrew is a boy with an active personality who is 5 ½ years old. While he has protrusion of his eyes, his vision is stated as normal and he enjoys reading. Andrew has a great memory and can recite various children’s folk songs and poems. He enjoys helping his caregivers with different tasks. He loves to run and jump and play outdoors. He also likes cartoons and enjoys listening to music.
•
Ben is a smart 13 year-old boy who has cataract disease and lazy eyes. Despite this diagnosis, Ben can see as he has been fitted with an artificial lens. He loves school, is one of the best students in his class, and likes to help the teachers. Ben is described as active, outgoing, and is very interested in basketball. Ben’s orphanage reports that “he feels sad sometimes because most of the children in the orphanage get adopted except for him. He really wants a family.”
•
Abigail is an active and healthy 13 year old girl. She is described as active and talkative. Her caretakers state that she insists on going to school everyday and likes learning Chinese. She is good at verbal expression, language development, and loves to write. Abigail likes to watch TV after finishing her homework in the evening.

America World has resources available for families who would like to consider adopting one of these children, including, updated referral information in additional to the original referrals. Referral information includes medical reports, the child’s history and the orphanage and their photos. We also have contact information for references of families who have adopted older children or children with similar special needs to those of these 4 children.
•
AWAA can also provide a list of international specialists who can help review the child’s referral. A family that reviews the referral is not committed to that adoption. The review process allows time to consult medical professionals to decide if your family can care for the child’s special needs and make the decision to decline or more forward with the adoption.

Families who are interested in learning more about Jonathan, Andrew, Ben or Abigail can contact a China Family Coordinator by emailing waitingchildren@awaa.org or calling 888-ONE-CHILD prior to October 31st, 2008.

Thank you for joining us in praying for these children and the plan the Lord has for them.”

Yesterday, I was talking on the phone to a dear friend. She told me that, rather to her surprise, she has asked for more information about a girl who needs a family.

This is the kind of adoption that could turn life upside down. The girl, Rose, is of unknown age, probably about 13. She’s been severely malnourished and experienced great hardship; she doesn’t read or write, and doesn’t know English. My friend is trying to figure out whether it is wise and responsible to bring Rose into their family, explaining to her two children (both eager to forge ahead) the possible inconvenient and painful consequences of adopting a teenager.

This adoption could reorder the rest of the lives of every person in that family. It is impossible to predict how Rose will respond to a stable family life and what course her healing might take. She may not be well enough for a traditional education and job; my friend and her husband and children may need to take care of her intensively for the rest of their lives. It could disrupt their activities and routines, home improvements, vacations, marriages. It could toss around the different parts of their lives like clothes strewn unpredictably and recklessly out of a drawer.

After I hung up the phone, it came to me in a flash how short life is. If this family or someone else adopts Rose, there is great potential for pain and chaos. There is also great hope for the dawning of redemption and God’s healing in a human life. The grace and love of the Lord could come washing through Rose, and my friend and everyone in her family would have the privilege of witnessing it, delivering it, taking a part in God turning ashes to beauty. My experience has been that there is no greater joy than that. It might be just glimmers for a while, mixed in with much suffering as they deal with the consequences of brokenness. But the suffering is temporary and the redemption is forever.

It hit me like a brick that life is short and eternity is long. If they adopt Rose, it may be really hard, maybe the hardest thing they’ve ever done. But it will be over so quickly. Standing before Jesus with Rose – and with the others that her life ripples out to – would be a greater joy than they can imagine. No matter how hard this part of life it, it is only a vapor.

My realization vanished as quickly as it appeared, and the pressing concerns in front of me seemed like solid reality again. We are so surrounded by the press of the temporal world that the real reality is veiled. Only in brief flashes of insight, it seems, do our eyes truly fix on the unseen, letting us understand that “our light and momentary troubles are achieving for us a glory that far outweighs them all.” (2 Corinthians 4:17)

This friend of mine has been reading Mother Teresa, who reflected that when Jesus summons us to something, we often hesitate: “Whenever He asks for something…people get extra careful about many things — but if the world asks the things are done so quickly.” We all would agree that it is right to carefully consider the cost before leaping naively into the adoption of a teenager. This may not be the Lord’s plan for their family, or for Rose. But my friend is wrestling with why we so often hang back when Jesus asks something of us. To be honest, many times it’s probably because He bids us to take up a cross, lose our life and die with him. But we who belong to Jesus have already died with Him. When we grasp at comfort and security, we are forgetting that our lives are not our own but have been bought with a price.

“He is no fool who gives what he cannot keep to gain what he cannot lose.” – Jim Elliot

Please pray for Rose.

Read more of Kristin Wong’s writing here.

“Therefore, my dear brothers, stand firm. Let nothing move you. Always give yourselves fully to the work of the Lord, because you know that your labor in the Lord is not in vain.” ~ 1 Corinthians 15:58

My friends wrote in her blog this that I want to share:
“And so I’ve been pondering on the power of the spoken word. It can be a curse or a blessing. How often have I failed to speak encouragement over someone who needs it? Do I only encourage when I sense someone is down and out? How often have I spoken careless words that have left a sting in someone else’s spirit? How often have I tried to encourage someone with my own words, when the Lord’s words would be so much better? Ask the Lord to give you a word for someone who needs to hear from Him. Your words are more powerful than you know! So I encourage first myself and then you – speak blessing and encouragement over those you encounter today.”

Today, after you take a sneak peak at the Semlow Adoption Blog I ask you to take some time to consider her words. Speak blessings to those around you. And, just for an added blessing to yourself if you know another adoptive parent give them a call and with your words lift them up. Your words will come back to them during a time when someone else may have spoken destruction.

For Deb and all of those waiting~ keep praying! Cover your children, even if you know nothing about them yet, in prayer. Lift them up to the Lord, who loves them in a powerful way, so that they may be protected mind, body, and spirit.

Deb, we wait eagerly for your little son to arrive home on that airplane. We rejoice with you. We wait with you. We celebrate his family in Ethiopia, his life, and his future as a child that has been rescued by the love of Christ!